Gratitude

Happy Friday! It's time for my Pagan Blog Project post for the week. This is the first G week. So I have decided to write about Gratitude. Gratitude is a very important part of my spiritual practice and daily life.

There are times when I look at my children and think they feel entitled and spoiled. Of course this is more a reflection of changes I need to make in parenting than in their personality. But it serves as a good reminder that if my children are not expressing gratitude, then am *I* expressing it enough openly in front of them.

Every morning I say my devotionals. This includes my morning prayer to the Divine, my affirmation of spirituality, my consecration affirmation, a prayer to Goddess, my daily positive affirmations that target my biggest fears, and my gratitude prayer. My gratitude prayer is simple:

"I am grateful this day for all that I have
I am blessed with what is mine
I am thankful for my health
my family
my home
I am grateful for all of this abundance in my life.
Blessed Be."

While this prayer is short and general, I also make an attempt to find specific things to be grateful for throughout the day. It's funny before I really dedicated myself to my path, I would think I should only be grateful for big meaningful things. That if I were grateful for something like my sense of taste so that I can enjoy chocolate that was "silly" or "trivial". Or if I were grateful for the nice things I had that I was selfish and materialistic. If I was ever trying to make a list of what I was grateful for it was like pulling teeth. I was somehow searching for the "right" answers. That if I put certain things on my list it wasn't good enough, so my list was always very short. And it looked like something a Pageant contestant would write: "I am grateful for the sun because it is something that everyone can enjoy".   I felt that I needed to be grateful for important things and only things that had positive connotations.

However, since really living my path I realized I had been so totally missing the point of gratitude. The point I had been trying to teach my children, and I had not grasped fully yet. The most important part of gratitude *is* to be grateful for the "silly, trivial" things. I also realized that being grateful for materialistic things did not make me selfish, but made me less so. Learning to be grateful for what you have and seeing gratitude in the littlest things is what it is all about. That is where the happiness lies. So now, my list is too long, but I will list some here:

I am grateful for:
the air for the life it gives, for breeze that cools me on a hot day
my lungs to breathe the air
The rain for the flowers it waters, the smell it gives the world, and the ability to dance it it
the earth for sustaining life, for its beauty and peace
fire for making room for new life, for cooking my food, and warming me when I am cold
for my sight so that I may see all of the colors and beauty of the world
for my hearing so that I may hear laughter and singing
for my taste so I may taste all of the amazing flavors
for my touch so that I may give and receive hugs from my children
for my sense of smell so that I may stop and smell the flowers, and candles and rain
for my speech for giving me a voice and the ability to express myself
for my heart for being able to give and receive love so openly, and for sustaining my life by keeping the blood flowing
for my tears for giving me a way to express emotions
for high heels
for my pain for teaching me how to be stronger
for my disappointments for teaching me how to let go
for my sadness for giving me the ability to empathize with others, and to understand human emotions.
for living in a time and place where I am able to write this blog
for toilet paper
that I found love
that my disease is in remission
for birds singing out my window
for my ancestors
for Goddess and God.... their love for me and mine for them
for ..... everything

You see I am grateful for everything now. I have no regrets in my life. Don't get me wrong, I have made some epically bad decisions in my life and would not encourage others to make the same ones. However, those choices made me who I am. They guided me on my journey to get here. And I love who I am and where I am at. I am grateful for all of those poor decisions. I am grateful that I have learned how to truly be grateful.

What are you grateful for?

I welcome all comments!

F is for Family

Well......here we are again..... This is the second week for the letter F on the Pagan Blog Project. For a while now I had planned this week to be about the Folk Self, while I don't remember where I first heard the term, I really enjoy the idea of ancestral memory and that you already know the answers you just need to remember. However, as with most things in life that we try to plan out, things often take a turn. So this week I hear Goddess telling me to speak about family.

I will give a brief family history to better understand the ramblings of this  blog. I suppose let me start with this days events. Early this morning my lovely mother-in-law journeyed to Summerland after a lengthy battle with cancer. Also this morning my Grandmother had hip surgery after passing out yesterday. These events have brought family to the forefront of my thoughts. Watching my MIL battle with cancer, especially over the past week, brought back many memories for me. You see when I was little I was very close to my mother (and even have some suspicion that she had, shall we say, Pagan tendencies). When my best friend disappeared (parents up and moved with little warning and no forwarding info) my mom became my best friend. However, 1 week after my 14th birthday (on Aug 23 <--- this date will be pertinent later) my mother suddenly, without warning, died. This shook my world to the core. Life went on, all be it in a duller light for me. Later on in life the other person whom I was closest with, my Grandfather, passed away. Again, I tried to pull it together and go on. I lost a few more family members over the next few years. But I was shook up again when my first husband had a heart attack and died in front of me and our 2 children (ages 4, and 2). A few more family members passed, then 6 years ago, my father passed from cancer. All in all I have now lost 13 close family/friends. At times I feel as if I am destined to be without those I loved.

I mentioned the date my mother passed earlier as August 23, other events also occurred on August 23rd. My father had his first heart attack, and my grandmother was hit by a car while riding a bike.  And this past year my 7 month old daughter was born on August 23rd. I found this to be a special ray of sunshine that I needed for that day.

So, all of this depressing talk explains why I feel a need to talk about family today. I find that I feel as if I am constantly searching for a family that is still on this Earth. While I have a few family members left I am not close with them. There are people in my life that I have found and feel a deep family connection with. That best friend that disappeared over 20 years ago...... I found her on Facebook about 3 years ago. And we still have a tight connection....... in fact I found out that she is also Pagan! I also feel very spiritually connected to my husband and children (kinda obvious on those ones right? lol)

Now to bring this around to my Witchyness. While everything I have done on my path has been alone for the most part (my hubby is now starting to participate). I never considered myself a solitary. While I have no one around in my practice, I still feel my ancestors with me ...so I have family. I feel the interconnectedness of the world...... so I have family. I have some wonderful "sister" and "brother" Pagans I have met online.... so I have family.


I started today wondering why there is so much loss around me. Why my husband has to endure this pain I know all to well. Why my children have lost yet another Grandparent. Wishing I had an elder, or mentor, or someone I could go to, learn from, support me. I think of all the questions I would ask those who have gone to Summerland if I could. I think of all the people who take family for granted and do not appreciate the time they have. I have also thought about birthdays lately. We have lost site of why we celebrate birthdays. It has become so mundane..... cake.... card..... present. But we NEED to celebrate life. Celebrate Family. So when it is someones birthday celebrate that they are still here..... .tell them that you are happy they were born!!

Family is important in my faith. I crave it. I may even come off as needy to some when I haven't spoken to them in a while. But, I know what loss is. I know what it is like to feel alone and without family.


So I end today realizing that I am not as alone as I feel sometimes. That I am not cursed to live alone. That Divine has reason for me experiencing all that I have. That I need to find and expand my spiritual family. And that when Goddess speaks to me, I seem to ramble on and on, and find a few tangents along the way.

On a side note........ I also discovered something about myself through all of this. I find that I seem to have 2 speeds when it comes to emotions, especially regarding death. I either feel very deeply and find it difficult to function, or I turn all emotion off so I feel little to nothing. This brings up questions in my mind if I may possibly be an empath and have not learned how to handle that. Hmmmmmm...... something to explore a little I think.


 I am Happy and Grateful YOU were born! Thanks for reading!

F is for F*ck (oh, and Hell, Damn, and Sh*t too)

OK, so before we really get started here, let me post a warning. Yes I WILL be using a LOT of profanity in this post. If you are offended by common swear words, please stop reading this now. 

This week for the Pagan Blog Project my F word is THE F word. And not just fuck, but Hell, damn, shit, piss, all swear words and forms thereof. You may be wondering what this has to do with paganism, in my view it is a fucking lot.

As a Witch I choose to LIVE my path. Live the most authentic life I can. I took an amazing course recently on living your authentic life, within that course the instructor mentioned that in order to live an authentic life you should communicate clearly and without profanity. The philosophy of not using profanity can be found in most religions, as well as society in general. And while I choose to live an authentic life dedicated to the Divine, I do not believe that my using swear words changes shit. And, in fact, I have little care of my children using such words. Let me explain. 


First of all I will admit I am a thirty-five year old mother of 3 who swears more than a convoy of truckers. However, I do control myself around other peoples children, (and my Grandma ;~P) as my goal in life not to offend those around me, and I am aware that others do not share my views. I do, however,  think that the feelings around these words need to change. 

Most profane words have been deemed so throughout history by the Christian church. Even the definition of the word profane (Latin: "in front of", "outside the temple") referred to items not belonging to the church. I am NOT Christian so why the fuck would I follow their declaration of what is or is not OK to say. In fact, if you look into the history of swear words many things that were the "fuck" of there day we would now consider silly. The worst in Shakespearean times were "Zounds" (short for Gods Wounds, referring to the crucifixion) and Gadzooks which meant God's hooks. Now these words can be found in comic books. The shit list of words that the church has is so long that most people do not realize how much they are actually swearing. I found this list:

• Begorrah = By God
• Bejabbers = By Jesus
• Bleeding heck = Bloody Hell
• Blimey = Blind me
• Blinking heck = Bloody Hell
• Bloody = By Our Lady
• By George = By God
• By golly = By God's body
• By gosh = By God
• By gum = By God
• By Jove = By God
• Cheese n' Rice = Jesus Christ
• Chrissakes = For Christ's sake
• Christmas = Christ
• Cor blimey = God blind me
• Crikey = Christ
• Criminy = Christ
• Cripes = Christ
• Crivvens = Christ defend us
• Dad gum = God d--n
• Dagnammit = Damnation, God d--n it
• Dagnabbit = Damnation, God d--n it
• Dang = Damn
• Dangnabbit = Damnation, God d--n it
• Dangnation = Damnation
• Darn = Damn
• Darnation = Damnation
• Doggone = God d--n or Dog on it
• Drat = God rot it
• Egad = A God
• For crying out loud = For Christ's sake
• Gadzooks = God's hooks (referring to the nails in Jesus on the cross)
• Gat Dangit = God d--n it
• G.D. (pronounced "jee dee") = God d--n
• Gee = Jesus or Jerusalem
• Gee whizz = Jesus
• Gee willikers = Jesus or Jerusalem
• Gorblimey = God blind me
• Good grief = Good God
• Goodness gracious = Good God
• Gosh = God
• Gosh darned = God d--ned
• Heck = Hell
• Jason Crisp = Jesus Christ
• Jebus = Jesus
• Jeepers Creepers = Jesus Christ
• Jeez = Jesus
• Jeezy Creezy = Jesus Christ
• Jehoshaphat = Jesus
• Jesus wept = Jesus Christ
• Jiminy Christmas = Jesus Christ
• Jiminy Cricket = Jesus Christ
• Judas Priest = Jesus Christ
• Jumping Jehoshaphat = Jumping Jesus
• My goodness = My God
• Sacré bleu = "sacred blue" = Sang de Dieu ("God's blood")
• Sam Hill = Hell
• Suffering succotash = Suffering Saviour
• Tarnation = Damnation
• Yumping Yiminy = Jumping Jesus
• Zounds or 'Swounds = God's wounds

"Shinola, " "Shoot, " "Shucks, " "Sugar, " etc., all refer to the modern and vulgar barnyard reference to dung. "Freaking, " "Frickin, " "Fudging, " "Feck, " "Fig, " and other "F-words" obviously refer to the highly obscene and insulting "F-word"

So it appears we are all fucking swearing all the time anyway, might as well say fuck it and use the good words right?

Most swear words were religious in nature  until the Victorian era when bodily fluids and functions made the list. Enter fuck, shit and piss. 


Now as you can see from the words above, a lot of the words have fought their way into mainstream speech already. I do not think it is far off when the rest are heard on network T.V.. 


 In my beliefs words Do have power. Everything has energy. But a lot of times society gives negative energy to words unnecessarily, which causes more problems than it solves. If I hurt myself, the energy of the word "ouch" does not make me feel any better, however, saying fuck or shit or damn does seem to help the pain. So I use them. I think giving these words the negative power makes kids want to use them more. Now as I said earlier, I do not have a problem with my kids swearing. I do however, at this point, not allow them to use the words around adults (including myself), this is to teach them to control what they say, so as to not get in trouble in school or later work. But people need to be honest and know that most kids are using these words anyway, my kids just know that I know. And they know that if they get hurt and yell fuck, I'm not going to ride their ass about it. 

Society has not caught up to my way of thinking so I do control myself around others. I try not to say things like For Christs sake, Jesus Christ!, etc, around people who I know will be offended by that. Just because it is not my religious views does not give me the right to offend others. I would like others to respect my beliefs so I do the same for them. 


Now all this being said there ARE words that are not allowed to be said by ANYONE in my family. These words are anything that attacks a person or group of people. Or a phrase that can be insulting to people. For instance this is a short list of what is not allowed:
N*gger (or any negative word referring to race)
R*tard (or any negative word referring to mental or physical disability)
Gay (when used as a derogatory statement such as "thats so gay")
Hate (you are not allowed to hate a person, hate is a powerful thing that can harm, therefore you can dislike a person or hate the behavior, but not the person). 


I think you get the idea of what is not allowed.


So I swear..... a fucking lot. That does not mean I am ignorant, low class, less spiritual, or a bad person. It means I have decided to use the power of words in a positive way. I took the negative out of it. I honor myself, my family and the Divine everyday, and sometimes I do it using fuck, shit, damn, piss, and asshole. And in a few decades who knows, there may be a comic book where the superhero is able to give a good cock-punch to the bad guy.......Zounds!......... Holy Shit Balls Batman!!

E is for Environment (and apparently Emotional as I am today =P)

OK, first let me acknowledge the name change to the blog. I have been doing so much soul searching and inner work that I no longer felt the old title fit my goals. So I switched to the name I had for my massage business, as it has always resonated with me. So..... Good bye to the Witch's Bitch and Greetings to MysticCreek. Now on to the blog for this week. 

This is week 2 for E on the Pagan Blog Project, and it seems to be hitting me pretty hard today for a number of reasons. I had been planning to write about Environment for most of the week and today I realized how much I need to talk about this. So this blog today will go in a more personal direction than initially planned. I plan to let it flow out as it wants to.

Now, I"m not just talking about environment such as the earth, sky, and taking care of that and such. Although that is a very large part of being Pagan there is more to environment than just being Eco-freindly. I want to look at environment on a smaller scale, closer to home. Environment can encompass many things, and all of them can affect us. From the things around us, to the company we really need to pay attention to the energy of the environment we are in. So I am going to spend this week talking about how I have changed and plan to continue to change my environment so that I can live more authentically and at peace.

As I look around my house I see little things that make me smile and bring me joy; items from my parents home, my wedding photos, my altar, and my vision board etc. If I had things around me that I did not like instead my entire mood would change. Think about a time when you have gone to someones home and you felt uncomfortable, you were afraid to touch anything. The energy of the items around us can change our moods. People can do the same thing.

I have been working so hard to be more positive and live authentically and spiritually in service to Goddess. I have noticed a number of things as a result.

 1) I was spending time with people who are generally more negative than positive. More often gossiping and complaining than not.

 2) I would get caught up in this cycle with them. Partly feeling that if they were so sad and miserable than I should be that to so as not to upset them more. What the hell is that?!?  Seriously, I deserve to be happy and I should have to hide that so that others can complain and be miserable. I choose to be happy and if others choose to spend their days complaining and gossiping that does not mean I have to join them. Now I admit it is more difficult to stop this behavior than you would think. If your relationship with someone has revolved around you being a soft shoulder and joining in the gossiping game, it is quite awkward when you choose not to join in and now you have to find actual real things to talk about.

3) I have crabs!!...... OK wait, not those kind of crabs! I heard an analogy recently about the crab mentality. (the following is from Wikipedia, which I don't normally use as a source, but will make an exception for this item)

Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket, describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the pot, but instead, they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition (or sabotage) which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise. The analogy in human behavior is that of a group that will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, conspiracy or competitive feelings.

So as I climb up to happier more peaceful place I have people around me trying to pull me back down. For instance we have chosen to move from this town (more on this in a bit) and there are those around us that keep saying things like "don't go", "what will I do without you here" "why would you leave us". These are all people who never come over, never visit and usually call when they need something from us. This move is the best thing for our family so of course we are gonna do it. But there are many who feel that if they can't get out of the place they are in then everyone should stay and be miserable with them.

4) places have energy that either loves you or hates you! I first heard of this while in Hawaii on my honeymoon. The locals would talk about how the islands either love and embrace you making it a wonderful place to live, or hates and rejects you making it miserable for you until you move back to the mainland. This is how I feel where we are now. The energy of the area does not mix with mine. I NEED to leave this place to feel more at peace. I can feel the energy sucking joy from me. There is such a weight on me when I am here. We were close to leaving. Had everything in order, but a mistake was made yesterday and I got the call today that it wont happen now.This is not to say that it wont ever happen, but where we were about 4 months away from moving, now we are probably a year away now. This is sooo disheartening as this  affects a lot of plans I had for myself and my family. It is almost as if this area is a crab itself, enjoying keeping me here to watch me suffer. While I am doing my best to try to find positives in the situation and how I can make the best of it, the environment is suffocating. As we have been trying to move from this place for about 4 years now, I find it more and more difficult to keep positive.


The energy in this environment is heavy and dark, I want so much to be where it is light and free. Environment is so much more than just trees and rocks. It affects more than just the space around us. It encompasses people, places and things. and all of those can affect us in every aspect in our lives. Keeping a positive, clean, happy environment is more than just recycling trash. If we want a good inner environment, then we must maintain a good outer environment. So I will wait and see what the Divine has in store for me here, but as soon as I can get to a better environment I will..... I must. This lost opportunity makes me feel like a little girl who has lost her balloon....... while I know there will be another one.... I am still sad to see this one float out of my grasp so easily.

I want (and planned for) my blogs to be more positive and inspirational. however, I think this allows for a good representation of how much environment can affect us. Just as we affect the environment we live in ..... so does it affect us.
 

Blessings

✬✬✬☮☯✽❀♥❤❥❣ ❧♡۵ ☣☼ ۵♡❧❣❥❤♥☮☯✽❀✬✬✬

To Whom It May Concern,

To Whom it May Concern,

Yes, I am a Witch........ Yes, I express my love of my faith on Facebook.

**I claim no rights to this artwork. 

I do this just as many of my friends do with their scripture, psalms and inspirations. I love to see that people love their faith. I love to see that they are expressing their loving beliefs. I make no disparaging remarks or question their faith in anyway. Sometimes I may even “like” their post if the meaning resonates with me. I wonder then, why is it when I do it that I get questions, comments and remarks about my faith. I am questioned about my beliefs. This even happens on posts that are either not Pagan in content, but may be from a Pagan source, or comments that are “faith neutral” which could be applied to any path. I receive “come to Jesus” messages in my inbox. I do not send “come to the Goddess messages”.  Please understand that while your God and Jesus bring you love, joy and happiness, MY Goddess and God bring me the same, so I do not need to find YOUR God. We are all on a path of love, goodness and light. The fact that we believe different things does not negate the other people’s beliefs.

**I claim no rights to this artwork. 

My children are also fine. They are being raised to find their own path. I will teach them my beliefs, as well as all other paths that I can. I allow them to learn about all faiths, attend any church they choose and follow their hearts. I believe that faith is personal and comes from within. I believe that our “folk self” (that part of us that contains our ancestral memories) contains all the knowledge and wisdom we need and only needs to be accessed and awakened.  Therefore, “pushing” my beliefs on my children or anyone else is counterproductive to their development. My only requirement for my children is that they respect ALL others beliefs. Keep in mind that I feel that ANY faith that endorses harm to self, others or any living creature is not OK, and not really a faith, but more of a cult. No faith should encourage harm. 

My life and outlook of it has improved dramatically since I have begun to express my positive inspirations, speak openly and often about my path, and really started living the faith not just talking the talk. I have also come to the conclusion that my path will lead me to getting a Masters in Divinity Degree from a Pagan Seminary, as well as becoming a Priestess to the Goddess. So I will continue to be outspoken. I will encourage others to do the same with their faith. If you do not like what I say, then I ask that instead of being negative about my faith simply do not follow my posts. 

In Perfect Love ...... and Perfect Trust

Blessings,

Enlightenment

So, I have been gone a while! I guess trying to start blogging while pregnant wasn't a great idea =P. But I have been inspired in my life a lot since the baby girl has arrived. One of the things that inspired me recently (like today) is the Pagan Blog Project.  I thought this would be the kick in the pants I needed to really do my blog the way I envision myself doing it.... you know consistently. So here I am starting this in week 9.... the letter E. Which, as the Universe works, is the best time for me to start, because I would like to talk about enlightenment.

The biggest Enlightenment came in my spiritual life. I found a huge pull back to my faith. Not that I ever left it, but I had been talking the talk and not walking the walk. I was not LIVING my path.  So, I began making changes, simple changes. Working harder to recycle, meditating and saying my blessings to the Goddess everyday, reading and learning everyday, being more vocal and active in groups, but most importantly honoring my true self. This enlightenment I had made me realize I had not been living my truth in a very long time. I was afraid to speak my truth, especially about my faith (even to other Pagans), for fear of judgement. I didn't want to hear that because I do not cast circles, or have a magical name, etc, that I was not a "true" pagan. I would find myself second guessing what I believed in my soul because someone would tell me how I was doing it wrong. My soul searching enlightenment solidified in me that faith is personal, so there is no wrong or even better.

Since this enlightenment, I have been at peace in all aspects of my life. I no longer present my false self to the world (well, not as often at least =P). I am more positive, and embracing of others.  I feel more "grown up", and this has even turned me down a surprising path. I have begun looking at Ministry Programs so that I can become a Pagan Priestess and be there for other Pagans.

I am so thankful for this time in my life and the enlightenment that I have had. But I am also aware that true enlightenment is a never ending journey.

In Love and Light

Blessings to all

✬✬✬☮☯✽❀♥❤❥❣ ❧♡۵ ☣☼ ۵♡❧❣❥❤♥☮☯✽❀✬✬✬