How about a nice cup of Shut the F*ck up?

So I've been spending a lot of time at my kids basketball games, at least 4 games a week. I love watching my kids play but I some of these parents really need some Valium. These kids are playing sports in elementary school people! Calm the Fuck down!!! If you are one of these parents who are so emotional about the games and push your kids to the limit I think we should talk.

OK, first of all the likelihood of your kid making it into the pros is slim to none! Even the odds of getting a scholarship is pretty low. You are ruining the games and fun for your kids, my kids and those of us watching that are rational.

Second of all, I LIKE it when the 4th graders run the ball to the wrong hoop! They have so much enthusiasm and are trying so hard, they will get the fundamentals of the game later so stop worrying!

I keep seeing these poor kids on the court and when they make a mistake they look out into the crowd to see how much trouble they are in from their parents......Seriously!?!? Then there are those of you who go out and "have a chat" with the refs (who are high school kids). Really!?! I see some going to the coaches and kids during half-time giving "pointers", if you are not a coach shut the fuck up!

We don't even keep score, who cares! Now I sure as hell don't want to get to the point where we can't cheer our kids on........so please remain calm and seated during the games.

These kids need to have fun and enjoy themselves, this is not the time for you to prove how athletic and skilled your kids are. This is not the time to relive your past! Grow up and let the kids be kids!

I want to be a Village Person!

No.... not that kind of Village person...


I believe we are all born with an innate need to be part of a community. We know that humans are social creatures and most people would state that they were part of a community, but I think the community we all crave is becoming extinct. Most often people are social when it is time to go out but when it comes to lifestyle and families things have changed. We have lost the ability to be neighborly and kind. With the exception of a death in the family, and sometimes a birth of a baby, people do not help each other out the way they used to.

There is a silent need for people to be more considerate and friendly. I crave dinner parties and mornings drinking coffee with friends. I want family friends who will bring their kids over and we just hang out while kids play, or bbq, or drink wine.
I want a community where people just show up and help out and I can do the same.

Somewhere where everyone jumps in and helps with kids.

Somewhere where there is a genuine interest in what it going on with each other.

Somewhere where there is acceptance, reciprocity and trust.

Somewhere over the rainbow...(seeing who is paying attention)

Why do we think we must have everything in common with those around us to have these ideals? A person should be able to move into a community and be welcomed with open arms. I should not have to seek out an intentional community (they cost a fortune to get into) in order to have what our ancestral memories want us to have. I'm not saying that we should love all of our neighbors, and that our village can only be on our block. I just think it would be nice to have community of people around me and my family that we could consider our family... our tribe..... yeah a Tribe!! Our Clan needs a tribe! A tribe of people who will protect each other and always be there for each other.

We all need friends (tribe mates) in this world that will be with us forever.

The Eternal Friendship symbol......My next tattoo =D

The Collins Family Crest

The Shield Celtic knot is a symbol for protection. The ancient Celts used it to decorate the shields of warriors, the clothing of children, and to protect the sick.

Sadly, I seemed to have landed myself in a a town that......well, it's as if Walmart exploded and the "People of Walmart" (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?page_id=9804) have taken over!

So for now I will enjoy my "People of Walmart" town and hope I find a better community when we move, as well as build new and existing friendships into a Village Tribe!!!

Resistance achieved....... I will not be assimilated

For the past 6 days I have wondered about with a remote control. This device (a spinal cord stimulator) is attached to a wire that goes into a small hole in my back and up my spine, resting near my spinal cord. It is supposed to be a pain management device, but "overloading" the nerves with sensations thereby reducing the pain felt......so not working. Mostly while still having chronic pain now I also have a strange vibrating feeling throughout my whole leg. Plus, have not been allowed to shower for 6 days...eww. And now even when I dont have my device turned on I am feeling weird sensations in my legs.

I go to the doc tomorrow morning to let him know how the trial of this device worked and if I want the permanent one implanted internally. My decision will be nope, I will not become Borg.

This trial has not been a complete waste however. As I tried all the different settings and ideas I could think of to make this work and it didn't I thought I would have become upset. But a strange thing happened, I found peace with my disorder. A number of thoughts ran through my head during this process, one of them being how unnatural this whole thing felt. I can't really explain it....just didn't feel right. That got me thinking......
I have been running from my pain and trying to find a way to get rid of it for 4 years......this week I really and truly accepted my pain. It is no longer a separate entity that I need to rid my body of. It IS me. A part of me. If I am to truly and wholly love myself I must love all parts of myself including my flaws, my pain being one of those flaws. I need to work with my pain instead of against it.

Before a great vision can become reality there may be difficulty. Before a person begins a great endeavor, they may encounter chaos. As a new plant breaks the ground with great difficulty, foreshadowing the huge tree, so must we sometimes push against difficulty in bringing forth our dreams. "Out of Chaos, Brilliant Stars are Born."

I am reborn.....not as a Borg as planned......but as the best thing I could come into this world as.....ME

New Year Shadows

January 1st? That time of year when everyone admits to their own flaws, commits to changing them and by Groundhogs Day, all that is left of them are shadows.

But it IS tradition to create a list of things to accomplish for the year, so in between Mimosa's and Kahlua Coffee I have been hard at work writing my list.

This year...
 

• I will give give Jack another chance (Mr. Daniels and I had a falling out after an incident involving a Klondike bar, duct tape, and feathers.) 

• I will improve my vocabulary by leaning cuss words in different languages and incorporating new exciting proclamations such as "cunt off!" 

• I will start exorcising more

• If I see a UFO I won't tell anybody about it

• I will stop preaching.....if people don't know by now that Bon Jovi is the ultimate God of Rock then they never will

As I add more coffee to my Kahlua and look over my list I realize I am unable to even remember the shadows of last years resolutions. But at least with this years list, I may be able to keep some of them... at least for a little while.