E is for Environment (and apparently Emotional as I am today =P)

OK, first let me acknowledge the name change to the blog. I have been doing so much soul searching and inner work that I no longer felt the old title fit my goals. So I switched to the name I had for my massage business, as it has always resonated with me. So..... Good bye to the Witch's Bitch and Greetings to MysticCreek. Now on to the blog for this week. 

This is week 2 for E on the Pagan Blog Project, and it seems to be hitting me pretty hard today for a number of reasons. I had been planning to write about Environment for most of the week and today I realized how much I need to talk about this. So this blog today will go in a more personal direction than initially planned. I plan to let it flow out as it wants to.

Now, I"m not just talking about environment such as the earth, sky, and taking care of that and such. Although that is a very large part of being Pagan there is more to environment than just being Eco-freindly. I want to look at environment on a smaller scale, closer to home. Environment can encompass many things, and all of them can affect us. From the things around us, to the company we really need to pay attention to the energy of the environment we are in. So I am going to spend this week talking about how I have changed and plan to continue to change my environment so that I can live more authentically and at peace.

As I look around my house I see little things that make me smile and bring me joy; items from my parents home, my wedding photos, my altar, and my vision board etc. If I had things around me that I did not like instead my entire mood would change. Think about a time when you have gone to someones home and you felt uncomfortable, you were afraid to touch anything. The energy of the items around us can change our moods. People can do the same thing.

I have been working so hard to be more positive and live authentically and spiritually in service to Goddess. I have noticed a number of things as a result.

 1) I was spending time with people who are generally more negative than positive. More often gossiping and complaining than not.

 2) I would get caught up in this cycle with them. Partly feeling that if they were so sad and miserable than I should be that to so as not to upset them more. What the hell is that?!?  Seriously, I deserve to be happy and I should have to hide that so that others can complain and be miserable. I choose to be happy and if others choose to spend their days complaining and gossiping that does not mean I have to join them. Now I admit it is more difficult to stop this behavior than you would think. If your relationship with someone has revolved around you being a soft shoulder and joining in the gossiping game, it is quite awkward when you choose not to join in and now you have to find actual real things to talk about.

3) I have crabs!!...... OK wait, not those kind of crabs! I heard an analogy recently about the crab mentality. (the following is from Wikipedia, which I don't normally use as a source, but will make an exception for this item)

Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket, describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the pot, but instead, they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition (or sabotage) which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise. The analogy in human behavior is that of a group that will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, conspiracy or competitive feelings.

So as I climb up to happier more peaceful place I have people around me trying to pull me back down. For instance we have chosen to move from this town (more on this in a bit) and there are those around us that keep saying things like "don't go", "what will I do without you here" "why would you leave us". These are all people who never come over, never visit and usually call when they need something from us. This move is the best thing for our family so of course we are gonna do it. But there are many who feel that if they can't get out of the place they are in then everyone should stay and be miserable with them.

4) places have energy that either loves you or hates you! I first heard of this while in Hawaii on my honeymoon. The locals would talk about how the islands either love and embrace you making it a wonderful place to live, or hates and rejects you making it miserable for you until you move back to the mainland. This is how I feel where we are now. The energy of the area does not mix with mine. I NEED to leave this place to feel more at peace. I can feel the energy sucking joy from me. There is such a weight on me when I am here. We were close to leaving. Had everything in order, but a mistake was made yesterday and I got the call today that it wont happen now.This is not to say that it wont ever happen, but where we were about 4 months away from moving, now we are probably a year away now. This is sooo disheartening as this  affects a lot of plans I had for myself and my family. It is almost as if this area is a crab itself, enjoying keeping me here to watch me suffer. While I am doing my best to try to find positives in the situation and how I can make the best of it, the environment is suffocating. As we have been trying to move from this place for about 4 years now, I find it more and more difficult to keep positive.


The energy in this environment is heavy and dark, I want so much to be where it is light and free. Environment is so much more than just trees and rocks. It affects more than just the space around us. It encompasses people, places and things. and all of those can affect us in every aspect in our lives. Keeping a positive, clean, happy environment is more than just recycling trash. If we want a good inner environment, then we must maintain a good outer environment. So I will wait and see what the Divine has in store for me here, but as soon as I can get to a better environment I will..... I must. This lost opportunity makes me feel like a little girl who has lost her balloon....... while I know there will be another one.... I am still sad to see this one float out of my grasp so easily.

I want (and planned for) my blogs to be more positive and inspirational. however, I think this allows for a good representation of how much environment can affect us. Just as we affect the environment we live in ..... so does it affect us.
 

Blessings

✬✬✬☮☯✽❀♥❤❥❣ ❧♡۵ ☣☼ ۵♡❧❣❥❤♥☮☯✽❀✬✬✬